Apparently there is a parallel universe inhabited by menopausal women that I neither knew nor cared about…..until I became one. Who knew there was such a market out there for menopausal products? Particularly natural menopause relief products that give natural relief to menopause symptoms. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised - after all menopause is natural!! I was expecting to see specific herbs for menopause - I mean there are herbs for every medicinal problem but no, there was more….
The ones I really liked were the advertisements trying to sell you “natural lubricants to combat menopausal vaginal dryness” Products like coconut oil, vitamin E, acidophilus, comfrey ointment, honey, or olive oil!! I’m not too sure whether you are supposed to eat some of them or use them to lubricate your passage…
It’s true a lot of women do experience vaginal dryness as a menopause symptom. The physical signs of this are pretty obvious but the symptoms are spelt out in case you are not sure what “vaginal dryness” might feel like? Huh?? So they tell you about the dryness, itchiness, irritation, burning and say it might cause some discomfort. Talk about the self-evident.
Don’t you love the way medical people say “this might cause discomfort, or “this may be a little uncomfortable” e.g. when you are having your breast squashed flat between two metal plates during a mammogram or your aforementioned vagina being jacked open when having a PAP smear. Tell the truth- this is going to be excruciating (referring to the mammogram) but hopefully won’t last long and then you can go out and have a stiff brandy to recover!
Back to description of vaginal dryness – they remind you that it is caused by a decrease in the level of estrogen (or oestrogen). Estrogens keep your passages lubricated (sounds like a car engine additive) & elastic (nothing better than a bouncy vaginal passage) so if the levels fall guess what? Vaginal lubrication and elasticity decreases, and the vagina becomes thinner and more fragile (alternatively they could say the car engine splutters and your passage gets less bouncy!).
And guess what? As in so many cases, the cure is often worse than the complaint. Why do so many natural suggestions sound so boring? I’d love to read “A cure for your problem is a prawn cocktail, followed by a lamb roast and then apple pie- with a couple of glasses of wine”. But no, the cure is always lots of water, a low fat, high fibre diet (often vegetarian), lots of soy products & plenty of water. Booorrrrring!! They might be natural cures for menopause claiming natural menopause relief, but then so is wine…and much more enjoyable! Of course you could go the artificial estrogen route and look at creams, rings & tablets, or even HRT. But that’s for another blog…
If you want to read more about how to treat menopause naturally I found this book very helpful
It’s hard to find anything worthwhile to read about menopause. Some books take the clinical approach, as if the menopause symptoms and you as a person are two separate things!! Hang on, there is a person here who is feelings these things- I am not a robot! Others are too “alternative” for me, full of “developing your inner …” insert what it is you want to develop!
However I was given a copy of a spiral bound book/journal by Christine Northrup called “The Wisdom of Menopause Journal: Your Guide to Creating Vibrant Health and Happiness in the Second Half of Your Life” by one of my friends as a birthday present. My friends love me despite my obsession with menopause at the moment- most of them are going through the same thing! Anyway, back to the journal, it was the best present I have received in a long time. I have devoured it from cover to cover. Not only is it full of useful facts and stories, because it is spiral bound it opens up flat so you can write in it too, and as you all know, I love writing about menopause. I now have a place to record my thoughts before I hit the keyboard and add to my blog.
The book discusses both medical and alternative (are they mutually exclusive I wonder?) cures for the symptoms of menopause and best of all, the author is positive about menopause!! In fact she says that “lifting of the veil of hormones” makes us free and activates our brains so that the next stage of our life can be the most influential, exciting and imaginative yet. Now that’s what I want to hear!
In fact I wish I had read this book before I started to feel the symptoms of menopause. I am sure I would have been better equipped to deal with what was in front of me. Maybe I wouldn’t have accepted the “its just menopause” response at every doctor’s visit, and might have been more empowered during these visits. Apparently she has written another book that is not in journal form that is really good too and has been a best seller for several years. It is called “The Wisdom of Menopause: Creating Physical and Emotional Health and Healing During the Change”. I intend to buy that too so I can really be informed and empowered- you go girl!
You’ve probably read enough about hot sweats in my previous posts – its making me feel hot and sweaty just writing about them! Let’s look at some of the other menopause symptoms we are already, or could in the future suffer.
You go to a book or web site on menopause and whoa, and it will blame everything including your bad breath and grumpy moods on menopause. You have an excuse for any type of bad behaviour- sorry dear, its just menopause and beyond my control….
There are myriads of possible symptoms mentioned including:
- fatigue
- flatulence
- loss of libido
- incontinence
- panic attacks
- decreased fertility
- vaginal dryness
- hot flushes (or hot flashes as they say is some countries!-Aussies say “flushes”!)
- sleep disturbances
- mood swings
- increased abdominal fat or weight gain everywhere
- thinning hair
- loss of breast fullness
- digestive problems including flatulence
- headaches
Even things like change in body smell? Itchy crawling skin, sweaty feet, farting and bad breath! Yikes! I wondered while people were avoiding me when I went shopping….of course the farting and bad breath could have nothing to do with menopause but isn’t it great to have something to blame?
They mention vagueness, memory lapses and inability to concentrate…what was I saying again…?! And panic attacks and obsessions- yes, they’re right, I am obsessing about what this process is doing to my mind and body and even having the occasional panic attack as a result…but then again I’ve been suffering from these all my life so why blame menopause?
Doctors love middle aged women – it doesn’t matter what your complaint is they put everything down to menopause:
Having headaches? Yes, that’s a symptom of menopause. Take a tablet or two and lie down…
Depression, yes, it’s a normal part of menopause- you’re grieving the loss of your periods- yeah, sure…
Skin rashes? Yes, allergies are more common in menopause- take a anti-histamine.
Even a broken ankle! Well maybe because you slipped on your sweaty feet, failed to see the step because of your vagueness, and it broke because your bones are more brittle after menopause, they can still put it down to menopause with a stretch!!!
We can be in and out of the doctor’s surgery in 5 seconds flat!! They love us!! Short consultations, pat answers and space to see more patients and earn more money! keep those hot flushes rolling in!
Talking of sweats I was describing hot flashes to my friends the other day what it is like to have them and be a high school teacher with a class of 30 fifteen year olds while going through menopause. You know kids are pretty adaptable- they soon get used to your face suddenly taking on a fire engine red hue, not from rage but from a unexpected hot flash…..but they never cope with the sweats.
I mean they are grossed out when you accidentally spit on them while talking animatedly about a topic you find fascinating that they (yawn) would rather not know about …like calculus or Pythagoras’ Theorem….however you should see the look of horror on their face when a drop of perspiration, that starts out as a drop on your temple, runs down your cheek , teeters for a tantalising moment on your chin, and then plop, splatters onto their workbook (with an apologetic bounce as it does so!) Not even your frantic apologies as you feverishly mop up the page (smudging all their work as you do so) using a tissue miraculously found from the depths of your bra, can ease their horror!! Nothing worse than a menopausal math teacher!
“Is it hot in here or is it just me?” If I had a dollar for every time I heard that question in the last couple of years! The mantra of the 50’s friendship group!
Think of all those songs about hot summer nights - they weren’t written about love & sex, they were actually written about menopausal women! Who knew we had so many empathetic friends who happened to be song writers!
My girlfriends and I are hot, hot in the city tonight….but not Cameron Diaz hot or Penelope Cruz hot- we are just hot. And sweaty!!! Like after a few hours in the sauna, a long game of tennis, a vigorous Pilate’s session…….
They tell you that hot sweats are normal but mmmm- they didn’t mention needing showers in the middle of the night, being able to wring your hair out as well as the sheets…… waking up soaked through next to a grumpy partner who didn’t realize “for better or worse” meant sleeping in their own personal spa, provided by their loving other half!
You can tell the menopausal women out to dinner. While everyone else is laughing, conversing & having fun they are the ones madly fanning themselves with the menu, surreptitiously wiping their brow with a tissue, or mopping the nape of their neck with a serviette. Once I was so desperate (and it’s embarrassing to confess this) I even yanked the hem of the table cloth to wipe my face! Not a good look……. And the guy opposite didn’t appreciate having to drink his red wine from out of his lap!