You’ve probably read enough about hot sweats in my previous posts – its making me feel hot and sweaty just writing about them! Let’s look at some of the other menopause symptoms we are already, or could in the future suffer.

You go to a book or web site on menopause and whoa, and it will blame everything including your bad breath and grumpy moods on menopause. You have an excuse for any type of bad behaviour- sorry dear, its just menopause and beyond my control….

There are myriads of possible symptoms mentioned including:

• fatigue
• flatulence
• loss of libido
• incontinence
• panic attacks
• decreased fertility
• vaginal dryness
• hot flushes (or hot flashes as they say is some countries!-Aussies say “flushes”!)
• sleep disturbances
• mood swings
• increased abdominal fat or weight gain everywhere
• thinning hair
• loss of breast fullness
• digestive problems including flatulence
• headaches

Even things like change in body smell? Itchy crawling skin, sweaty feet, farting and bad breath! Yikes! I wondered while people were avoiding me when I went shopping….of course the farting and bad breath could have nothing to do with menopause but isn’t it great to have something to blame?

They mention vagueness, memory lapses and inability to concentrate…what was I saying again…?! And panic attacks and obsessions- yes, they’re right, I am obsessing about what this process is doing to my mind and body and even having the occasional panic attack as a result…but then again I’ve been suffering from these all my life so why blame menopause?

Doctors love middle aged women – it doesn’t matter what your complaint is they put everything down to menopause:

Having headaches? Yes, that’s a symptom of menopause. Take a tablet or two and lie down…

Depression, yes, it’s a normal part of menopause- you’re grieving the loss of your periods- yeah, sure…

Skin rashes? Yes, allergies are more common in menopause- take a anti-histamine.

Even a broken ankle! Well maybe because you slipped on your sweaty feet, failed to see the step because of your vagueness, and it broke because your bones are more brittle after menopause, they can still put it down to menopause with a stretch!!!

We can be in and out of the doctor’s surgery in 5 seconds flat!! They love us!! Short consultations, pat answers and space to see more patients and earn more money! keep those hot flushes rolling in!